Eagle in the Storm

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.  The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God.   The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God’s power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.

The wise man wrote, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future” (Eccl. 7:14). Solomon fairly well summarized life. There are good and bad days that attend our lives. Make the best of both. When things go well, rejoice and praise God; when they go wrong, and adversity attacks the soul, rest on the assurance that God is there and he cares. His goodness is shown in the providential help he offers in time of need.

“Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help (us) in time of need” (Heb. 4:16).
Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them. The Bible says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles.” — Isaiah 40:31

The New Norm

I've been thinking a lot about grief, and loss.  It seems when we think of grief, it's reserved for the loss of a loved one, spouse, child, parent.  But anyone who has experienced a life-changing loss goes through grieving process ... loss of fertility, loss of mental function, loss of health, loss of youth, loss of friendships, a home, job or pet. When you read about grief, each loss is described as an occurrence that you had no control over.  I'm not sure that's true. I think we grieve even when we controlled the change.  Change of jobs (where I'm living right now), change of homes, relationships and friendships, cities, states - each brings a sense of loss, a sense of longing for what was. 

Each person's experience of loss is different.  It will be unlike anyone else's.  Regardless, the grief response brings intense emotions.  Feelings of being alone, anger, depression, loneliness, fear, frustration, futility and instability. 

When you experience grief, you strive to get things back to "normal."   The goal becomes to get things back to where they were before the loss, before the fog of grief set in.  The truth is you need to embrace the loss and know, know, that "normal" as you knew it is gone.  There is now a new normal and you must open your mind to finding it..... the new norm.  

My mother taught me, years and years ago, that the loss never goes away, you just learn to live with it.  Each loss leaves a hole and somehow we believe we can fill that hole with something else. Unfortunately no, the hole remains but gets smaller and smaller as it is surrounded by new life experiences. To move beyond the grief, we must accept the "new norm", we must assimilate the loss, face and work though the pain, understanding that the loss will get smaller and smaller until it is only a pinpoint of light.  Anne Morrow Lindbergh, who lost her baby son in a kidnapping and murder, said:

        It isn't for the moment you are struck
        that you need courage,
        but for the long up hill battle to faith, 
        sanity and security.

So when life is forever changed, we are forever changed.  Loss is a common experience that every person will encounter during his or her lifetime. It does not discriminate for age, race, sex, education, economic status or nationality.  Loss, whether it happens "to" you or "by" you, is a byproduct of being alive.

Each person walks their own path to overcome loss.  When the initial fog clears, it is time to reach inside for your own internal strength to adapt and adjust to the new life. Despite the loss, life goes on, it moves forward and begins again, but it is a life forever changed. Most people don't like change. And of course change from loss is forced upon us.  Years ago I was faced with the need to make a major life change.  I found a quote that basically said, "sometimes the energy it takes to keep resisting and living in the past becomes more painful than making the change."

        And then the day came
        when the risk it took to remain tight
        inside the bud was more painful
        than the risk it took to blossom.

                                                      Anaïs Nin

Simply, we must surrender the old and begin anew.  Hmmm....kind of sounds like what it was like when I first turned my life over to God.  Give up the old "norm" and begin a "new norm" in Him. Moving from the dark into the light.  As we grieve, we are in darkness.  Not sure there is a darker place than the depths of grief.  Admittedly there are levels of grief.  The loss of a spouse, child or beloved family/friend far out ways the loss of a job or house.  But grief is grief and unique to each. But it's dark.  If it's part of life, then is it a necessary evil?  Moving from darkness....

When I became a Christian, Col 1:10-14 spoke to me, leaped off the pages of the bible.  Daily I wear a dogtag with On Belay on one side (that's another story) and Col 1:10-14 on the other:

 'so you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption...'

Delivered from the domain of darkness. 

When my father died, my mother was 32.  I watched her process her grief for 30 years until she passed away.  Don't get me wrong, after his death, she went on to lead a very productive and successful life, yet as I look back now I suspect she was always processing grief in the background. In her life, she never really knew Him.  I don't believe she ever experience God as father.  As someone who loves us and wants to carry our burdens, sooth our souls and take our grief. Throughout the Bible, God tells us how He wants us to relate to him: Trust him.  Even in our darkness and pain. He wants us to rely on him, to rest concerns and ourselves in his hands. 

Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding."

The answer to loss is quite simple, admittedly not easy, but simple. Rest in Him. It is God that fills the space left, minimizes the hole to a pinpoint, renews us and leads us to the "New Normal."

I Love my Attorney

Recently sent to me by a friend ....

After living what I felt was a 'decent' life, my time on earth
came to the end.

The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting
room of what I thought to be a court house.

The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat
by the defense table.

As I looked around I saw the 'prosecutor'.

He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me.
He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a
kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar
to me, I felt I knew Him.

The corner door opened and there appeared the Judge in full
flowing robes.

He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room. I
couldn't take my eyes off of Him.

As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, 'Let us begin.'

The prosecutor rose and said, 'My name is Satan and I am here to
show you why this man belongs in hell.'

He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole,
and In the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other
horrible perversions that were once in my life, and the more he
spoke, the further down in my seat I sank.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own
Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely
forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me,
I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not
offering any form of defense at all.

I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some
good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the
harm I'd done?

Satan finished with a fury and said, 'This man belongs in hell,
he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person
who can prove otherwise.'

When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might
approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong
objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward.

As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His
full splendor and majesty.

I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing
me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, 'HI, DAD,'
and then He turned to address the court.

'Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't
deny any of these allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin is
death, and this man deserves to be punished.'

Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with
outstretched arms and proclaimed, 'However, I died on the cross
so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted
Me as his Savior, so he is Mine.'

My Lord continued with, 'His name is written in the Book of Life,
and no one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not
understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather
mercy.'

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and
said, 'There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all..'

The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The
following words bellowed from His lips.....

'This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in
full. Case dismissed.'

I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where
to go next, 'Have you ever lost a case?'

Christ lovingly smiled and said, 'Everyone that has come to Me
and asked Me to represent them has received the same verdict as
you, ~Paid In Full.'

'Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!'

When it's only a whisper ...

I've often sat in Sunday service listening to messages about how God is with you through the storms, He is there even when you can't hear him or things seem off-course. I sit there next to this man I adore, aware of the job I love and fresh from the house that's my haven.  I think wow I'm so glad the storms are behind me. I've definitely been in the storms, hurricanes, tornadoes and even flood, famine and fire. But in the last 12 years, and most specifically last 6 years, it's been pretty calm, glassy waters.  I know there will always be storms, but mine seems more like California storms.  "Major Winter Storm Warning" flashes in blue across the television screen, The news casters announce that we may get as much as 1/2 inch of rain.  Board up the windows and batten down the hatches, it's coming!  When it's over, it didn't even wash my car.  I've benn blessed with California storms and just wash my own car.

Then I decided to change jobs! Yes, I decided...it's all on me. I had good, sound reasoning. Did my due diligence - prayer, wise counsel, scripture - more prayer, more prayer and more prayer.  After all, I was leaving God's house and heading back into the "real" world.  It's kind of like breaking up with God, not really but felt like it.  So lot's of prayer, making sure God was in this.  We prayed.  We went to a few trusted friends to seek their advice, listen to their thoughts (hmmmm can I blame this on them?). I had my prayer posse praying for months as the decisions were made. We read scripture.  We made the decision and slept on it 7 weeks.  I gave 3 months notice.  I am a quick decision maker, QUICK!   I think quick, I move quick.  Mick,  being the accountant he is, makes lists, uses the white board (the crazy BIG white board), does the research, processes and thinks ... then does it all again, and again. I get lightening bolts of inspiration and go.  I move quick, and decisive, mostly led my intuition, gut and my ongoing chatter with God.  I take risks, Mick takes notes.  Yes a good team.  We did both. 

I often talk about God being loud.  I have been aware of God my whole life.  It's like He lived down the street.  I'd see Him as I drove past, often wondered about Him. I'd see the parties He had, people coming and going from His house.  I'd wave as I drove by, He'd wave back.  He'd always look a little sad as I drove by and I'd always feel a little left out, but never enough to stop and just invite myself in.  After all, I was busy, life for the most part was good. I didn't really need Him in my life.  Plus I hear He has lots of rules to follow.

One day as I drove by, my car broke down in front of His house (metaphorically of course).  He invited me in and I then realized why He always looked a little sad as I zipped by - He has always been inviting me in.  I just was always too busy, too independent to recognize it. Once in His house, I found out He was my father, my friend, my confidant, my savior.  All that time I could have just pulled up, parked and walked into His house, into His arms.  Of course I was too stubborn and it took my "car" (aka life) breaking down to lead me to Him.  Anyway I totally digress ....

Since going from just a neighborly wave with Him to living in His embrace, He has become exceptionally loud in my life.  As decisions are made, plans are adopted, as life moves forward, He is there - loud and bold - clearly identifying the path.  When things get cloudy, I can almost hear Him shout "this way!"   One of my favorite phrases, "when God is loud."  For me, He has been loud for the last 12 years.

Back to current events.  I've change jobs, moved to new responsibilities, activities, routines and people.  "Major Winter Storm Warning". I missed that announcement.  Rain is pouring by the inches, the clouds are dark and heavy and the trees look like monsters swaying in the wind.  It's a storm.  A storm unlike any I have experienced in many years. My fathers house that has comforted me and kept me safe, feels far away. And my God who is so loud seems to be whispering.  I strain to hear His whispers, but the rain and rustling of the tree monsters drown out His words.

I recognize I have been blessed by so few storms over the past 12 years.  I am blessed that I have had such a loud God giving me an unbridled confidence in Him. Nothing about this has changed.  I will wait out the storm, listening to the whispers, remain in Him.  I will wait for the whispers to once again be loud.

There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.

Endings. As you look at endings, inevitably you reflect on the beginnings. I’ve learned that my life moves forward in of a series of breakdowns and reconstructions. Such times haven’t exactly been frequent in my life, but they have represented important turning points. There have been three times I can recall where I’ve hit a crossroads resulting in significant change, and ultimately significant growth.  Each has been associated with work.  The first was leaving Civil Engineering to run my mother’s New Age bookstore.  The second was climbing out on a ledge and starting my wholesale import company.  The third was leaving the bookstore and my wholesale companies, meeting God and following His lead into ministry.  It is always difficult to make changes in life.  They say change will come when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change. Ten years ago God brought me to work at North Coast by way of one of these changes or reconstructions.  Today he is releasing me from North Coast and leading me in new directions.

At the beginning of my relationship with Mick, we had a period of time where we worked together.  We have often reflected that it was the best time in our lives.  We work well together.  That said, a year ago Mick became partner in Premier Signs in San Marcos.  January 1, 2015  I will pick up an additional percentage of the company and take over as General Manager.  I have a passion for small business, particularly businesses struggling but with the foundation for success.  This opportunity and the ability to once again work with Mick has lead me to the difficult, and painful, decision to leave my position at North Coast effective December 31.  I know God is releasing me and I know He is preparing the path ahead.

I first came to North Coast by way of a class taught by Rabbi Barney Kasden.  I was coming out of the New Age, a believer in God - but not a follower of His ways or commands.  My life was in shambles.  It's funny how you can spin your life.  When I turned 40, I was married, had a very successful retail business and a fast growing wholesale import/manufacturing business.  I was offered a partnership/merger with two adjoining companies.  It was bright lights, shiny and new.  It was truly the lure of the world and all that it encompasses. World travel, money and the prestige of being a VP of 3 merged companies.  No thought - I jumped, I ran for it.  By 42, I was divorced, my bookstore had an unexplained fire and burnt, my partnerships had severely soured and I was both emotionally and financially bankrupted.  I sat in my office late one night talking to God.  I didn't know Him well enough to even blame Him.  It was more through exhaustion and the fog of battle, that I said show me where to go and I'll go.  The phone rang and my sister invited me to a class on biblical archaeology.  Really God?  This is what you've got for me?  Rocks and ruins?  I’m a mess and you give me rocks?  I went.  Whenever there was something unexplained Rabbi Barney said "it's a God thing."  Over and over I heard "it's a God thing" and then it became clear.  My life needed to be a 'God' thing, instead of a 'me' thing.  I turned and reconstruction began.

Three years later, I began working at North Coast.  It's hard to explain what a profound and life-altering experience it has been.  The leadership and staff have molded me, grown me, changed me and extracted from me character and a passion I never knew I had.  They taught me how to love God and how to love His people.  They taught me how to see others as God sees them. They instilled in me a desire to care for His children.  They taught me grace, mercy and love - Gods love.  For this I am eternally grateful.  As I leave this chapter of my life, it is bittersweet as I will so very much miss the North Coast team and the wisdom they hold.  Every day I see God through their actions, their service and their hearts.  Every day, without exception. But this part of my story is over, this chapter complete and it’s time to turn the page.

 

“There’s a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry,  that we are moving up, rather than out.”
― Ellen Goodman

 

 

Whose armor are you wearing?

In Ephesians 6:11, the  bible says put on the Armor of God. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."  The armor as outlined includes: truth, peace, faith, salvation and the Word of God and Prayer.  Romans 13:12:  "The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light."  So, how do we put these on?  It's a great visual - easily pictured in my mind.  Each day work towards living a life of truth, peace and faith.  Spend time in the Word of God and Go to Him in prayer. Make sense to me.  

Two years ago we spent 12 days in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; evangelizing of all things (not exactly my comfort-zone).  The theme of the mission trip, if there is such a thing, was the armor of God. We had gone with the intent of spending most of the time on the streets of the favelas run by drug traffickers.  With Gods unique sense of humor, He moved us to schools and after-school programs talking to kids, mostly about how to not end up as drug traffickers.  We had brought with us a toy costume of the armor of God.  [now it does beg the question WHY had we brought a kids costume when we anticipated talking to grownup drug lords, but anyway...]

As we spoke to the kids, we went thru the process of putting each piece of armor on one by one.  Once they were fully armored, we showed them how their back was still exposed and that is where God stood - He gives you armor to put on and covers your back.  And the only way to stay safe in the world they lived in, full of violence, drugs and evil, was to put on the armor of God and ask him to cover you.  Seems so simple.  But is that the only armor we put on.  And if we are wearing a different armor, is there room for God's armor?

In a message last night by Jeff Moors, he talked about Saul giving David his armor to put on before he went to fight Goliath.  David walked around and after a few minutes removed the armor.  He wasn't used to it, it wasn't his and quite possibly it didn't fit.  But the truth was David didn't need it, He had Gods armor and God covering him.

Where was this message when I was 20?  I spent a lot of years putting on armor that others handed me or that I randomly picked up thinking I should wear it.  I let others expectations, opinions, lifestyles and gifting create this weight that I willingly adorned and carried around.  I somehow thought that taking on others armor would be the protective covering I needed to succeed, or not be hurt; to prevent damage, mostly emotional, from being inflicted.  As long as I was more like this person or that person, has this character trait or skill or looked this way or that, then I'd be ok.  I wouldn't get damaged by this world.  But the armor never fit - it was someone else's.  Even today in my "maturity" I'll occasionally be tempted to pick up someone else's armor, just to try on for size.

But then I remember, the only armor I need is the one God gives me and asked me to put on, and once on, He provides protection.  He covers my back, fights the darkness and fills my soul.  Other people's armor is exactly that - theirs.  Mine is mine.  And God's is God's.  Quite simple when you think about it.  So are you wearing armor that is not yours?  And by wearing it, are you keeping yourself from fully embracing the Armor of God?

To bask or not to bask....

Sitting in a poolside lounger looking directly out to the Pacific Ocean, waves crashing, cool breeze - the perfect Southern California day.  Watching 15 Jordan leaders play beach volleyball while others surf and most likely some still sleep. The message last night centered around how each of us is uniquely wired with a specific skill set, emotional structure, perspective on life.  We have limitations and we have strengths coming together to make us perfect in Gods eyes. Consider this - your weaknesses make you as perfect as your strengths.  God wires us, God has a plan for us, God doesn't make mistakes.  I could end this thought right here. 

As we started our morning, we were told to ponder how much God loves us.  I sat and thought - yep, I got nothing.  Talking to Mick he said just look around, look at the sand, the waves, the sky - the beauty of what God provides to us.  Bask in it!  THAT'S how much God loves you.  Yep, I still got nothing.

Bask -  1.     to lie in or be exposed to a pleasant warmth: to bask in the sunshine.

             2.

   to  enjoy a pleasant situation:  He basked in royal favor

Ok I get that.  From a completely logical perspective.  But to settle into "basking" - not so much.  So if I don't "bask" or "revel" do I believe any less? Am I less obedient?  We stood and worshipped in the Ocean Beach One church last night.  It was hard not to ponder how the  Jordan team worshipped with open abandon.  Praising God,  hands raised, faces turned to the heavens, voices loud and clear.  Total abandon to God.  It was inspiring but I couldn't help but wonder:  if your praise is quiet, if your worship is reserved - does God appreciate it any less?

The British dictionary adds to the "bask" definition:   to flourish or feel secure under some benevolent influence or favorable condition. Now that I totally get.  To feel secure under a benevolent influence, I.e. God.   Secure.  If I looked for one word to describe how I feel about my relationship with God, it's secure.   Secure under a benevolent influence - love that.  

So back to wiring.  God has wired me to "bask" by being secure.  Others to "bask" by observation of the beauty He provides. And yet others to "bask" by worshipping in total abandon.  God made us, wired us and recognizes that each of us has our own form of basking in Him.  It doesn't matter how we do it, how we express ourselves ... only that we do.