Playing it small

Lately I dont have a lot of my own words...but other people's words are speaking to me in profound ways.  This is from the covered in dust blog:

covered in dust - paradigm shift
Posted: 26 Sep 2012 10:26 AM PDT

Have you ever had one of those conversations where someone says something that just seems to stick in your mind for hours and days later?

Yeah, me neither.

I'm kidding. It happens to me too.

The crazy thing is that for me it's not always the obvious thing that presses into me. It's usually the almost unnoticeable comment that suddenly permeates my heart and mind with such precision that I honestly wonder how on earth it's possible for me to stay the same.

Yeah...

Those watershed moments, those threshold moments call me forth. I stand on the precipice of something new that either I can ignore and keep life the same, familiar. Or I can lean into this newly uncovered truth with curiosity learning how to wield it like a young apprentice clumsily training a freshly acquired skill.

I've done both in life. I can honestly tell you, the latter always produces growth and freedom... though it's never easy and requires all of me.

Two weeks ago, I came across such a threshold. I was on a conference call with several of my coaching colleagues and spiritual cohorts-- Justin Williams, Michael Warden, and Tim Pynes-- conversing about the brilliance and glory that we witnessed at the most recent BraveHeart Intensive men's retreat. While we celebrated the good, the noble, the exciting, we also discussed places to look for growth and betterment. There, in that place, I heard something I've never heard before.

It seemed so small at the time, so inconsequential. But then it grew. It's echo reverberated across the landscape of my soul. It ignited the embers of my heart with possibility.

The words simple and true rang forth...
"Dave, you're the right guy with the right thing to say, right now."

It slipped right by me at first. Then, it circled back. Later in the day, it reappeared. Days later, it perturbed my mind and beckoned my heart to a new frontier.

So, I took it to my King and asked Him about it. I was curious: what did Jesus want to reveal to me about the truth if who I am? How can I more fully embrace this truth? How have I not shown up like this? I wanted to not only embrace and live from this place but to also recognized the moments that I shrink back from this truth. Both are necessary and needed for growth.

Then, I realized something even more profound: I've never been told this before! No one has ever affirmed this about my core identity. I was stunned. After 36 years of life I finally heard that my voice matters. And it doesn't just matter, it's needed!

Sure, people have granted me permission to speak but this isn't about permission. Sure, I've contributed to conversations but this isn't about contributing. This is about authority. My voice carries authority and what I was being told that day is that my voice is needed in this world.
But it's more than that too!

I'M the right guy.
I'm the right GUY.
I'm the RIGHT guy.
I matter. I'm needed.

What a paradigm shift! All my life I've been told in one way or another: "Settle down and get in line like everyone else" or "Yeah, that needed to be said but not by you" or "Next time, take the conversation offline."

Play small.
Get in line.
Follow the herd.
Keep your mouth shut.
Blend in.

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." (John 15:16 NIV)

Jesus chose me. And He didn't just choose me but gave me His Glory as well.

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one." (John 17:22 NIV)

I matter to the Kingdom. You matter to the Kingdom. If Jesus chose us, how then can we play small? What good is it if we shrink back?

To clarify, this isn't a spiritual ego trip but a claim to what is most true of us as followers of Christ. We are under His Kingship and we have a role to play.

God is telling an epic story and He didn't choose worthless slaves or orphans to do the job. No. He chose sons; sons who are co-heirs with Christ. Now, live in that freedom and go reclaim His domain!

Whats my Assignment?

Assignments.  This word keeps appearing in random ways.  So you have to ponder what is your assignment?  Is it your family, your job, your hobby, your ministry, your serving, your passion.  Or maybe we never really know.  Maybe we’re like Mission Impossible.  Each day there is a tape left for us (yes God places it in our head) that says:  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves…..

If you google Mission Impossible you get….An elite covert operations unit carries out highly sensitive missions subject to official denial in the event of failure, death or capture.  

Ooooh….so my mission each day as assigned by God, if I choose to accept it, is highly sensitive and if I fail, die or am captured no one will really know what mission I was on?  That sounds about right. 

So we get in our heads that we have a distinct mission – we may even know what it is.  Particularly if you work at a church as I do … “obviously” my assignment is clear.  But maybe not.  Maybe our “assignment” is not a big picture thing.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s the little interactions, the water cooler conversations, the conversation over the neighbors fence or over a cup of coffee at Starbucks.  Maybe it’s even that text of support you send or receive from a friend.  Maybe our “assignment” is to care for Gods children as he places them in front of us in both big ways and in little ways.  Just a thought.

Semper Fi, Captain Lawrence W Jordan USMC, 1932-1965.

Dear Dad

When I think about you there are so many things I want to remember.  I want to remember walking hand in hand with you.  I want to remember you reading me a bedtime story.  I want to remember you throwing me in the air and catching me or riding high up on your shoulders. I want to remember the little things.  I also want to remember the big things...teaching me to ride a bike,  helping me with homework, threatening a first boyfriend, seeing me graduate, walking me down the aisle. But my memory jar is empty. You left to soon. I was too young.

Though I didn't know you, you taught me the most valuable lessons in life. You taught me to be strong. You taught me to bear pain. You taught me about honor, valor and what it means to die for a cause ... for God and country. Big lesson for a little girl who just misses having a daddy.  But life lesson for the adult daughter of a hero. You may think that I was too young, that I would miss it all, you may think I didn't see, that I hadn't heard, but I got every life lesson that you taught me even though you weren't here.  I got every word, it's written on my heart.  Without you I wouldn't be woman I am today. Even without your physical presence, I've grown up with your values, understanding your courage, knowing your sacrifice, with you as my foundation.

You weren't there when I skinned my knee to chase away my tears; to help me when things were hard in school; to guide me through my fears as I navigated life. When I was old enough to drive a car, it wasn't you who taught me how.  But you have always been my guiding star teaching me about righteousness, justice, morality and honor. So this memorial day I say a prayer and thank the Lord for the father I never knew but taught me so very much. Semper Fi, Captain Lawrence W Jordan USMC, 1932-1965.

The Chart of Your Life

Imagine for a moment that your standing in front of a gigantic chart that tracks the movement of the stock market from almost the beginning of the last century. You see a series of peaks and valleys corresponding to various historic events. There is a serious down draft during the Depression. But look. After it bottoms out, the line goes up. Invariably goes up.

Notice the 1987 stock market crash. See that abrupt drop? I remember that one. The feeling that swept the nation was that the market would never, ever come back. But look. It did. Look at the new highs the U.S. stock market achieved in the 1990s.

The markets are a lot like life. Things happen. There are peaks and valleys. And there are events that send our lives plunging—sometimes to record depths. We think we will never, ever recover. But we do. Things get better.

So what does the chart of your life look like? Peaks? Valleys? Where are you now? If you are in a valley of unemployment and uncertainty with fog and darkness all around, grab on to this truth: This will not last forever. Things will change. For sure there are upswings and new peaks in your future. There are seasons of joy and prosperity ahead.

One day you will look at this chart of your life again, in another context, from another vantage point. You’ll be able to see the upturn that followed this difficult time. You recovered. You’ll look back and wonder how you ever made it through. But you did! I’m certain that you’ll say that as difficult as it was, you are grateful for all you learned, for all the ways your character was strengthened and for the ways this season of your life prepared you to handle what was, and is, to come.

Just hang onto that truth right now. Mark today’s date on your calendar. Write about it in your journal. And whatever you do, don’t give up. You may be in a valley right now, but an upturn is coming!

Pump up the Volume

What do you do when God is loud?  When I first began my Christian walk I was blown away by how loud God was, how clearly I felt lead.  Had he always been this loud and was I just not listening?  Or when I turned my life over to him, did the volume go up?  There was a movie from 1990 staring an early Christian Slater called Pump up the Volume.  How this movie relates to a Christian walk is beyond me (and much of the content is probably not appropriate), but I love the premise.  It's basically about a teen with a pirate radio station who creates a cult following as he delivers  social commentary about the state of teenage life.   He coins the phrase Talk Hard meaning talk real...talk about what's going on, what's real, what hurts, what matters.  Talk Hard.  I think this is what God wants from us.  Pray Hard.  Pray about what's real, what hurts, what matters.  Then listen.  Sometimes you have to listen hard.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of shaking and moving.  Life is going along...sort of status quo.   You may be asking.  You may be in wait.  But life is good and all is quiet.

Then it gets loud....

One of my prayers everyday is for God to use me for his will.  Show me what and where Lord and I'll go (or stay). Each day I find opportunities before me...mostly little ones, but none the less, opportunities that I can respond to Gods calling. People, places, things. So life is good.  My plate is full.  Some say very full.  And in the midst, a shift ... and God gets loud.  He has pumped up the volume.  He is calling.  A new path is before us.

Time to pray hard ...  pray that we be used well, for His will, for His glory, in His timing, for His people. Faith is having enough trust in God to follow him even when it doesn't make sense, you don't know where it's going or your plate is already full and he's calling anyway.  On Belay.

Just a piece of clay...

Haven't posted in a while.  Watching the world and how fast it spins.   I watched a new baby come into the world and watched a young mom say last goodbyes to her children. Heard of friends who finally married after being together for 32 years and counseled a couple being torn apart after only a year. Watched a couple get engaged in the snow on an ice skating rink in Chicago and I watched a friend take her last breath in her husbands loving arms. And God was present for it all. 

We all know there is a cycle of life.  There are seasons.  Good seasons. Tough seasons. And in it all we have choice.  Maybe not choice in what happens both to and around us, but choice in how we respond, how we move forward, how we determine our gratefulness, how we act.  ACT ....  either how we respond or what action we take.   In all, God is present.  In all, there are blessings.  In all, there is a choice to respond. And in all is a faithful God. 

Lately, I have been feeling like I am stuck in some kind of a holding pattern, neither moving forward nor back.   This is something I am not used to.  I have tremendous faith in our God.  Everyday, almost without fail, I look up, look to God and say Let's go!  Bring it on!  Use me for your will. I do believe this keeps life moving fast.  Abide in Him.   Yet I am somewhat on pause.  Hmmmmm.....am I meant to be learning something.  Do I need to slow down to learn?  And learn what?  God, what are you asking?

I love to cook.  I LOVE to eat.  Mick too.  It's one of our love languages. Food....yum!  But, a month ago Mick and I changed. In order to respond well to the things happening around or to us, we changed.  How do you change? How do you take on a challenge given to you?  Act....act intensly with focus. Mick and I are in the middle of facilitating our 12th Financial Peace class.  We KNOW if you want to live differently, you have to start thinking differently.  You have to make different choices.  It's not a game - it's serious...you have to be all in.  Want change? Act.

God gives blessings. God is faithful.  How we respond is up to us.  We are not powerless to our life.  You want to live debt free, it's a daily choice.  You want a good marriage, it's a daily choice.  You want to eat differently, it's a daily choice.  You want to be happy, it's a daily choice.  We have the ultimate power, the power to respond well.  That too is a God given gift!  God gives us the power to act. 

So when it is quiet.  When life is paused. Listen.  And if He asks - Act.  Maybe during the quiet times, he is redirecting you, reforming you, preparing you for the next step. 

He is the potter, we are the clay.

To my friend....

Today I saw God.  Or at least God in action.  I witnessed a young mom sit before a camera and record messages to each of her children saying goodbye.  It’s hard to put into words what went thru my head.  First and foremost – wow.  She was so eloquent.  She spoke to the camera like each of her 5 children was sitting at her feet.  She gave them wisdom, encouraged them to grow to be Godly men and women, to marry Godly spouses, to care for one another and most importantly to love God.  Wow.   I kept thinking over and over, “This is grace.”  Not the grace we speak of as Christians, but grace in the form of beauty, elegance and charm.  There are moments in your life you will always remember, moments to be cherished … this was one for me.  I felt honored, humbled and totally unworthy to witness this beauty.

I am not sure why we need to make everything about us, but I guess its human nature.  As I try to come alongside this family, I can’t help relating it to my own life. My friend is dying from brain cancer.  I took care of my mother for 9 months as she battled brain cancer.  The similarities are striking, so I have to keep reminding myself that every journey is different.   My mother was 60, my friend is 30.  My mother was a strong, fiercely independent woman but with a soft heart and warm spirit.  I can easily say the same about my friend.  The difference comes in that my father died before she did and she left behind two grown daughters.  The loss still left a huge hole but as adults we have different comprehension, different understanding and more memories to cling to.  My friend is 30.  Her husband is young.  Her children are young.  She is young. 

The other difference and I guess the thing that struck me the most as I watched her record her messages is her profound and I truly mean profound faith.  I consider myself strong in faith.  I don’t doubt God.  I walk in obedience.  I serve when called.  I abide in Him.  And, yet I heard my friends words to her husband, to her children, to her family….I was truly humbled.  I felt as if I was witnessing something that went so much deeper than what I can understand.  God is with her, right now, right here…guiding her, comforting her, bringing her peace.  He is there in all His strength and all His glory bringing her home.   Though the pain in her husband’s eyes, the confusion in her children’s faces is heartbreaking, it is both reassuring and an honor to witness her journey and the legacy she will leave with her children. And wow is such a weak response but sometimes it is all you can say…