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The road to hell is paved with plum trees

A little backstory is necessary to properly set the stage. When my father died, by my mother's own admission, she gave up cleaning and to some degree cooking.  I don't know what her housekeeping was like when he was alive, but over time, it became less and less.  The kitchen became a place to paint and build elaborate stage scenery for dance recitals, or to fashion life size skeletons for elementary school Halloween carnivals.  There wasn't a lot of room for cooking. Growing up I remember my mom making tacos, chili, pork chops smothered in mushroom soup and the occasional luxury of rib eye steak on the BBQ.  The only time we ever saw a vegetable was at Thanksgiving where green beans would appear. I don't recall baking though I have a slight recollection of toll house cookies, but that may well have been my sister or my contribution. I'm sure we ate, as weight was never an issue for any of us, but I don't recall what. As years went by, we moved out and mom became more I'm going to say delightfully eccentric. Her meals varied between Jack in the Box and KFC. 

We lived in a house purchased by my mom and dad, or more accurately my dad, while my mother was in the hospital at Camp Pendleton having me. We had a large yard which was home to two lemon trees, a loquat tree and a plum tree. We'd regularly make lemonade properly loaded with lots of lovely white refined sugar.  The loquat tree, would bear a huge harvest of the small golden fruits, primarily adding color to the yard and food for the birds. On occasion while in the yard we'd eat one or two. And then there was the plum tree.  It was large and it was robust; putting out bushels of plums.  To which my non-cooking, non-domestic mom made tons of plum jelly.

Fast forward: when Mick and I moved into our home, it was so exciting to plant our little orchard. A peach tree, apricot, nectarine, orange, two lemon trees (of course), lime, cherry, kumquat, loquat and two plum trees.  The trees are now mature and this year our plum tree was robust creating memories of mom and her plum jelly. So in my infinite wisdom, I researched the Internet, found a recipe, bought Ball canning jars and the sad, sad story begins.

Last Sunday, Mick and I traipse up the hill with my bucket to collect plums.  The little bucket filled in no time, so down the hill to grab two 5-Gallon Home Depot buckets.  We promptly hauled some 40lbs of ripe plums down the hill.  We tucked them away in the laundry room, hoping against hope that they wouldn't rot before I could get to them.  Four days later, I spend two hours perched on a stool sorting out any now-too-ripe plums while Mick runs to the store to secure bags of ice.  The plums are now safely stored in iced coolers until the weekend.  And Saturday arrives ... it jam day!!

Now mom made jelly and half the people I know have at some time made jelly.  Different from my mom, I cook, regularly and pretty well ... yup this will be a breeze.  Plus, I found a great recipe that uses 1/2 the sugar and you leave the skins on.  I've got this.  Question - Have you ever pitted 40 pounds of plums? Or 40 pounds of anything for that matter?  It started in the kitchen standing at the counter, big cutting board in place, music in the background ... 5 plums in (5, not 5 pounds, 5!), I thought are you kidding me?  This can't be for real, people actually do this? And enjoy it?  Fast forward an hour and I'm 5lbs in, starting to feel some confidence. Oh but wait there are still 35lbs in the cooler.  Four more hours, I've brought a stool into the kitchen and I'm feeling the pain.

5 hours, 6 hours, 7 hours ... I’m hunched over the sink, sweat dripping in my eyes, working on the last of the plums. I am determined to complete this preparation trainwreck. Did I mention this was one of the hottest days of the year so far? Temperature pushing 90 and no I don’t have air conditioning. Did I mention it's 40lbs of plums. 40! At this point there is plum juice, plum peal and plum meat all over the sink, the counter, the kitchen window, the back door, the floor, the dog, and oh yeah, me. Three days later my fingernails still look like I work as a car mechanic. Ah but now the prep is done and it only took 8 hours. Finally, finally, finally ... now the fun part.  

Yes, because I have no idea what I am doing, I pull out my ultra-big stock pot.  You know like you cook lobsters in!  In go the plums, sugar and lemon juice.  Let the boiling commence, and commence, and commence.  Did I mention it is the hottest weekend of the year?  Temperature now in the 100’s and I have a GIANT boiling pot on the stove, casting steam and heat all over my little house.  After roughly 4 hours of non-productive boiling, it comes to my attention that my pot is too big …. that must be it!  Transfer all to 3 separate pots ... splash/splash plums on the stove.  Ah, much better, now I have 3 boiling pots on my stove.  Heat, heat, steam, steam. Boil, boil toil and trouble! Boil, boil into the night. 

Boil, boil toil and trouble

Plums abound in days so hot

Making jam, recipe double

Cooking, cooking but jelling not

Juice and skin on the wall

Everything purple, sticky and sweet

Never ending, but who to call? 

Google this, google that, not even a tweet

It is now one week since we innocently picked those dastardly plums. Unknowing that our life would be consumed for a week.  Unknowing that we'd stand for hours upon hours, doubled over in pain and sweat, pitting plums. Unknowing that my kitchen would have purple plum stains literally everywhere.  Unknowing that my pasta pots would die a slow death under the spell of the plums. Unknowing that the "healthy" recipes using less sugar and no pectin, fail to mention THAT THE JAM NEVER JELLS!! HELLO!  

I give up, I don't know how mom did it.  And I no longer care.  Please people, friends and family...don't send me your grandmas recipe or your success stories.  I'm done. Yes I bottled the plum concoction, set or not, it's done.  I have effectively bottled 22 pints - some are plum preserves, some are plum syrup. Moral of the story, if things don't turn out exactly as planned, change your expectations and move on with your life. Plum Syrup it is! And it's spectacular. 

And me, well back to what I know the best.  I've repurposed my plum boiling/used to be pasta pots into great succulent pots .... don't think I'll be using them again for canning anytime soon. 

Champions released...

I think I've always been passionate about seeing lives change.  Today I got to see seven friends graduate from a program that raises up leaders.  Leaders in business, leaders in families, leaders in life. It unveils  a new perspective of life.  I purposely say "of life." It's bigger than "in life."  It's a global perspective of passion, drive, integrity and grit. Two and a half days of being raw, being real, digging down deep to discover and unleash the champion within.

Mick and I had the privilege of sponsoring 4 people in this months training. Two are leaders in ministry.  Young men who God placed on our hearts to invest in.  It was God saying, "I have plans for these men but I need more.  I need them to be the best that they can be. I'll provide the way, you get them there.'  So we did.  And they did.  And God did.

We also sponsored two of our "kids."   These were of course young adults from our growth group. It's hard to explain the feeling I have watching them go through something so foundational for the rest of their lives. To step out empowered, courageous and focused. Focused on being the best they can be. To be in the top 3%, to be a champion in all they do. Lives changed. Legacies changed. Oh the places they will go.

So 15 new graduates from BOLD: Advanced Leadership unleashed on the world. Impact.  It's hard to explain what's it's like to go through. It's just as hard to express the feeling of pride seeing people you care about experience the process and become better versions of themselves. God is on the move!

Go Big or Go Home

Be the change you want to see.  This is a great concept but do we actually have the power and self-direction to go forth in the world and make change. Are we ready? And even more so, are we willing?  And to change the world, we may well need to first change ourselves. Whether personal or professional, individual change involves humility and sacrifice. Not to mention, putting forth the effort to change oneself or to change the world always exacts a price. I've always loved the quote:  "Real change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing."  I've seen this quote accredited to Tony Robbins, Henry Cloud, and a host of other writers and inspirational speakers.  So I think I’ll now take credit for it ... since it's not clear where the quote was initiated, but obviously they are all directly speaking about my life.

At this juncture of my life, I can look back and see it as a series of intentional deconstructions and reconstructions, or wildly abandoned demolitions followed by systematic rebuilding. I've had pretty much one season per decade, each representing an important turning point and significant growth.  Each period of growth has launched me into a new season, an intellectually, emotionally and spiritually healthier season.  If I am doing it right, trusting the growth, leaning into the change, then looking at my present after each transition, I should see more health. More wholeness. Isn't that how it should work?

In any case, the release of old patterns, old lifestyles awakens us into greater wholeness and well-being. A similar quote by Anaïs Nin says...  "the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."  This perfectly encapsulates the process. 

Yes, for a while as I continue to process the BOLD experience and adapt to new growth, you will periodically, and possibly continually, hear about the program. Going through BOLD: Advanced leadership, I was catapulted into change, lead directly into a position to blossom.  To my surprise, and certainly to the surprise of others, I found myself impacted by emotion. By my own internal emotions - something that does not come often with me. Multiple times I'd try to say something and the words would get stuck in my throat and I had to collect myself to articulate my thoughts. This is change. Without truly knowing it, I have always been guarded and a bit wary; suspicious of looking outside of myself for happiness and well being. To do that you have to trust others....never been my strong suit. So much easier to just trust yourself, whether you succeed or fail, it’s all in you. There was a moment at BOLD, as I sat in the horseshoe circle, I realized that I was being fully accepted. No one was judging me. No one was thinking less of me.  Everyone was rooting for me, for my success, my processes, my personal growth. Fifteen "strangers" were quietly and compassionately being there for me. We were a team in transition, all of us having decided that the risk of remaining closed to each other was greater than the risk of opening up. How often does that happen in life?  Not a lot in my experience. 

I think it's fascinating that the very act of communicating with others can bring me into a more intimate contact with myself. The moment in which I started to open up to others was the moment in which I opened up to myself and acknowledged, and thereby removed, my personal roadblocks. To move forward boldly, we must remove our own roadblocks or walls. Of course, we live in era of reinvention.  Don't like who you are, what you look like or how you perform, change it.  A quote credited to Nelson Mandela goes something like this: "It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. A son or daughter of the King. You playing small does not serve the world. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  Whether Mandela actually said it or not doesn’t matter, it is truth. Want to see change? Do something!

     “The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would be enough to solve most of the world’s problems.”

When I suggest you help change the world, I'm not talking about planet Earth. I'm referring to the world that exists in your own head. You will not change the world if you don't change your own world, your own perception, first.  Take a step. It’s time to play big. Change yourself and just watch how the world around you starts to change. I just might adopt a new motto:  Play Big or Go Home.