Sunday, January 11, 2015

There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.

Endings. As you look at endings, inevitably you reflect on the beginnings. I’ve learned that my life moves forward in of a series of breakdowns and reconstructions. Such times haven’t exactly been frequent in my life, but they have represented important turning points. There have been three times I can recall where I’ve hit a crossroads resulting in significant change, and ultimately significant growth.  Each has been associated with work.  The first was leaving Civil Engineering to run my mother’s New Age bookstore.  The second was climbing out on a ledge and starting my wholesale import company.  The third was leaving the bookstore and my wholesale companies, meeting God and following His lead into ministry.  It is always difficult to make changes in life.  They say change will come when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change. Ten years ago God brought me to work at North Coast by way of one of these changes or reconstructions.  Today he is releasing me from North Coast and leading me in new directions.

At the beginning of my relationship with Mick, we had a period of time where we worked together.  We have often reflected that it was the best time in our lives.  We work well together.  That said, a year ago Mick became partner in Premier Signs in San Marcos.  January 1, 2015  I will pick up an additional percentage of the company and take over as General Manager.  I have a passion for small business, particularly businesses struggling but with the foundation for success.  This opportunity and the ability to once again work with Mick has lead me to the difficult, and painful, decision to leave my position at North Coast effective December 31.  I know God is releasing me and I know He is preparing the path ahead.

I first came to North Coast by way of a class taught by Rabbi Barney Kasden.  I was coming out of the New Age, a believer in God - but not a follower of His ways or commands.  My life was in shambles.  It's funny how you can spin your life.  When I turned 40, I was married, had a very successful retail business and a fast growing wholesale import/manufacturing business.  I was offered a partnership/merger with two adjoining companies.  It was bright lights, shiny and new.  It was truly the lure of the world and all that it encompasses. World travel, money and the prestige of being a VP of 3 merged companies.  No thought - I jumped, I ran for it.  By 42, I was divorced, my bookstore had an unexplained fire and burnt, my partnerships had severely soured and I was both emotionally and financially bankrupted.  I sat in my office late one night talking to God.  I didn't know Him well enough to even blame Him.  It was more through exhaustion and the fog of battle, that I said show me where to go and I'll go.  The phone rang and my sister invited me to a class on biblical archaeology.  Really God?  This is what you've got for me?  Rocks and ruins?  I’m a mess and you give me rocks?  I went.  Whenever there was something unexplained Rabbi Barney said "it's a God thing."  Over and over I heard "it's a God thing" and then it became clear.  My life needed to be a 'God' thing, instead of a 'me' thing.  I turned and reconstruction began.

Three years later, I began working at North Coast.  It's hard to explain what a profound and life-altering experience it has been.  The leadership and staff have molded me, grown me, changed me and extracted from me character and a passion I never knew I had.  They taught me how to love God and how to love His people.  They taught me how to see others as God sees them. They instilled in me a desire to care for His children.  They taught me grace, mercy and love - Gods love.  For this I am eternally grateful.  As I leave this chapter of my life, it is bittersweet as I will so very much miss the North Coast team and the wisdom they hold.
 Every day I see God through their actions, their service and their hearts.  Every day, without exception. But this part of my story is over, this chapter complete and it’s time to turn the page.

 
“There’s a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry,  that we are moving up, rather than out.”
Ellen Goodman